5 years of friendship come to an end after 25-year-old realizes that her jealous "best friend" was always her worst enemy: “That felt like a betrayal”

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    AITA for cutting off my "best friend" after realizing she secretly hated me all these years?

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    Hey Reddit, I (25F) have known a friend (27F) for about five years. We met at university and became close pretty quickly. At first, I found her friendly but
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    also a bit intense-she constantly wanted to meet up, message, call. Honestly, at some point, I even wondered if she might be into me romantically because I couldn't quite figure out why she was so attached.
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    Over time, I learned she had very little family around, no partner, and she often told me she didn't trust her other friends. I felt bad for her and wanted to be there, so we became friends.
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    We motivated each other through our studies, hung out a lot, and for a while, she seemed like a genuinely good friend. But things started to shift when we took a tough exam. I passed—she didn't. She broke down, said she wanted to quit university, and I tried to support her as best I could.
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    Still, something felt off. She seemed envious. So much so that I started hiding my own successes from her-like when I passed exams-just to avoid triggering her. That said, I still helped her: I shared
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    my notes, my materials, answered questions. For me, it was never a competition—I just didn't want to make her feel bad. But looking back, it feels like she did see me as competition, and I just didn't realize it at the time.
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    Later on, when I started seeing someone romantically, she'd constantly tell me to end it. "It's pointless," "he's not worth it," etc. When that relationship eventually ended, she wasn't there for me at all. At the time, I convinced myself she'd just been right all along. But now I think she was never supportive in the first place.
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    Eventually, I met my current partner. And as expected, she reacted negatively again. Whenever I shared something vulnerable about the relationship, she'd laugh at me or tell me-again-that I should break up. This time, something clicked in me: Why is she always trying to push me away from the people I care about?
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    Then things escalated further during our Master's thesis phase. She told me she'd arranged two spots at a great research institute through her brother so we could do our theses together. I already had another offer and declined. Later, I found out there was only one spot-and it had been reserved for her all along. That felt like a betrayal.
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    She kept talking about how amazing her work was, how great everything was going. I really tried to be supportive, even while I was dealing with a failed thesis project and having to start over. But I also started hearing things from other colleagues-details
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    that didn't line up with what she had told me. It turned out she had exaggerated or straight-up lied about some of her "successes." Still, I tried to be understanding and told myself: Maybe she's just finally happy about something in her life, and that's why she's acting this way.
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    But I couldn't shake the feeling that she lacked basic empathy when things were going bad for me. I basically told myself not to be too hard on her since I was probably just jealous and wasn't judging the situation correctly.
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    Eventually, I opened up to close friends, and they all said the same thing: "Why are you still talking to her?" Some had never liked her and even said she seemed obsessed with me. I never believed it-until I
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    saw her become overly attached to her thesis advisor. She started texting her constantly, sharing personal stuff, even dyeing her hair the same color. It was the same intense pattern all over again.
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    Now, today, I'm going to a party she's throwing to celebrate a new phase in her life. I am happy for her, genuinely. But I'm also emotionally checked out. I can't bring myself to have a real conversation with
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    her anymore, because I feel like she always tries to outshine me, or low-key make me feel small. Still, I can't completely walk away either, because part of me holds onto the good memories we shared.
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    Clean_Shame_4697 NTA. Preserve your peace and step away. She was never a friend of yours. She used and manipulated you. You don't have to feel obligated to go to her party. You can decline without any reason. You don't owe her anything - not your time, your friendship or the support. Step away and protect your mental health.
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    DynkoFromTheNorth NTA. I advise you to skip said party, unless other people you care about will attend as well. Then you can just spend time with them and ignore her for the rest of the evening. But ideally, I'd just sit this one out. There's no upside to attending someone's party if they don't care about you at all.
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    Consistent_Ranger_65 OP I am dragging my best friend with me for support. I think for me it is more an etiquette thing. The said friend would have come for sure if I had thrown this party.
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    Kebar8 Sometimes the best course of action for ending a friendship is slowly ghosting, She's never going to change, talking about it with her won't help, so it's just time to just drop the rope
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    Quiet-Hamster6509 NTA but start winding down the friendship. Start communicating less, sharing less things, start seeing her less.. until it just fades off.
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    If she questions it you just say that you've got different things going on and your schedules don't match up. If she asks what, don't acknowledge it.
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    princessmathea The best way to move on is to just let things naturally drift apart. It's tough to let go of friendships, even when they're not healthy. Prioritize your well-being, and slowly fading out is a good approach.
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    mad2109 You don't need to be friends with anyone who makes you feel bad about yourself. Are you a people pleaser? If so that's why you're feeling guilty. I was a big people pleaser and that only changed after I had. my daughter. Before it was ok giving people the shirt
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    off of my back as it only affected myself. It was different when I had a kid as she had to come first. It was really hard to begin with, then it got easier. I'm not saying you need to have a kid to put yourself first obviously, but keep saying no and I promise it gets easier. BTW, about your thesis, I believe in you. Good luck.
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    ΝΤΑ No-Illustrator5587 You discovered the key to a happy life....recognizing and eliminating people who really don't care for you from your life. Learn this lesson and don't look back. BTW, this applies to family members also.

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